uncertain thoughts....


Lately I have been going through so many emotions.  There are so many things going on in my life right now that I can't even begin to organize my thoughts correctly.  I have EXACTLY 60 days to find a new place to live, I really want to find a new job and I was thinking of going back to school.

The reasoning for having to move in 60 days is because if I don't, we will have to go back into a year lease (which is something that we simply canNOT do), and if we stay out of lease, we will have to pay an extra $300 on top of my monthly rent, which refuse to pay that amount for a 2 bedroom BOX!  We need a house with a yard for the kids, bedrooms for all and pretty much MORE SPACE!  We are living on top of one another and this needed to happen so much sooner than this!  So OPERATION: Find a house is in full effect.  I am so discouraged that we haven't found anything yet, but hopeful that we will!


I need a new job!  Many of you know that I work in the world of bridal retail.  I have known for quite some time that I needed to find another job, more like a career, but the actions of upper management over the last few weeks have solidified what needs to be done.  There has been so many unexpected staff changes (and in my opinion, not in best interests), that it has brought the moral down for many of us employed there.  I am such a creature of habit that these drastic changes are so mind blowing for me.  There are a few other staff changes that I think will happen in the near future and if that is true, then I really don't want to be there.  I had really grown to love the majority of my co-workers, and when you start to see most of them leaving, especially not at will, it's time to move on!  I hope to find something that will allow me to express myself artistically, push my knowledge and help me grow as a better person.  That's where school comes in at!
I really have no clue, at my ripe old age of 32, where I want to start.  So much later than what I expected, but better late than never.  Many people my age have went to school, graduated and became professionals in their career choice.  It seems as if I am stuck in my own mind right now and I don't know how to get out of it.  But something needs to happen.  I will begin the journey of finding myself and hope that I can get it right within the next few years!
Well, that's it!  This is going on in my head every minute of every day, along with trying to maintain the (great) insanity of motherhood, being a wife and all of my hobbies!  
My loving friends and family!  (hubby would have to look like a maniac, lol)
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.  It was almost self medicating to release this in this medium instead of talking/yelling/crying it out!  Have a great holiday weekend!

photos are from my birthday this year up north in Tawas MI